


Kinda Outta Luck

by notwhatyouseeinthemovies



Category: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
Genre: AU Freddy is not a cop but a stripper, And Lots of It, Brown and the rest of the gang still exist, Brown needs to love himself more, Canon Typical Swearing, Canon-Typical Homophobia, Canon-Typical Sexism, Explicit Sexual Content, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pulp Fiction References, Songfic, Violence, eventual patricide, freddy is abosolutely fucking insane, maybe as much as mr blonde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:07:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22561504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwhatyouseeinthemovies/pseuds/notwhatyouseeinthemovies
Summary: Mr. White suggests a relatively unknown stripclub as the gang's next meeting place for talking business, and who could resist that. A place with hot girls, good drinks and inconspicuous enough for business? Brown sure couldn't say no to that...though, maybe he wishes he had cause it leads him down a path of absolute sin, debauchery and madness that has no turning back. He wishes he could escape sometimes but, hey,How could he say no to his honey-bunny?
Relationships: Mr. Brown/Mr. Orange (Reservoir Dogs)
Kudos: 98





	Kinda Outta Luck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello my lovely readers. Now don't worry, if you're still reading "Gonna buy me a dog" my other Reservoir dogs (and Baby Driver) fanfic, I'm still writing that one. I just like having several projects to keep me busy. Besides, I couldn't get this weird idea out of my head once it came to me. I don't see enough people write about brown and that's a damn shame cause he's super hot and probably a fun character to play around with (turns out I was right). 
> 
> So I once I had the idea to have him get together with Orange in some sort of weird AU, I knew I had to write it. That being said this is a songfic based off Lana Del Rey's "Kinda Outta Luck", and if you know the contents of that song, know that this fic will follow the plot of the song pretty well. In this chapter specifically Brown makes fun of his appearance, alluding to a sort of self-hatred he cant seem to knock. I personally think Tarantino is drop dead gorgeous but I peg Mr. Brown as a nervous, fast mouthed, self hating wreck so theres that. 
> 
> In this fic I also use the name "Doug" for Brown's real name, a name which I heard used for him in a fic called Mine by Danger4good which you can read here https://archiveofourown.org/works/7345681
> 
> Just wanted to shout that out cause it's such a good fic honestly and the names are really fitting. 
> 
> Also, a slight content warning this fic will contain homophobia, sexism, probably racism (though not as likely) and other shit that ain't so nice. I, personally don't find these things appealing but hey, it works for the fic. So don't say I didnt warn ya, but then again, if you're reading a fic for Reservoir dogs, you're probably know what you're in for. 
> 
> Thanks again and tell me what you think so far.

“Pretty Smart”

I flash him a wicked grin from across the table as he leans over and continues talking

“I’m ready, let’s do it. Right now, right here. Come on…”

“Alright” I keep that smirk going as I start pulling my piece out of my pocket, cigarette still billowing wisps of smoke into the air of the diner “Same as last time remember?”

I smack the gun on the table, hearing the metal clank against the cold surface.

“You crowd control, I handle employees.”

He smiles at me and nods before leaning over the table and kissing me senseless, as if it wasn’t two-o-clock in the fucking afternoon on a Tuesday in the middle of a crowded diner. But, then again, that’s Freddy for you; always in the mood for shock and awe.

“I love you, pumpkin” he giggles, sinking back into his seat, but still leaning over the table and looking deep into my eyes, a crazed look on his.

“And I love you honey-bunny” I give a contented smile before suddenly leaping out of my seat to stand atop the cushioned surface, gun pointed high in the air, not really aiming at anyone in particular…yet.

“Everybody be cool this is a robbery!” I call out as I see Freddy roll out from his seat, gun in hand and pointed at a more even level with the patrons in the diner.

“Any of you fucking pricks move and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!”

_Record scratch._

Yep…that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Well if you knew what the cops knew about me, you’d know that I’m no stranger to crime. This wouldn’t seem like unfamiliar territory. No-siree. Not by a long shot. But if you knew me as a friend? As a guy? Man to man? This would seem completely out of place. And it **was** out of place exactly three months ago. If you’d asked me then if I would do a job, case a place with someone I was banging, I’d tell you not in a million trillion fuckin years. And if you asked me if I’d have fuckin pet names for this partner? Go fuck yourself. And if you told me not only would I one day rob a place (several of them in fact) with a partner I had a cute name for, and it would be a guy? You’d have your lights knocked out faster than you can say faggot.

But then again, here we are and more importantly, here I am. In a diner, with who I think is the love of my life, holding up the place on a fuckin whim. If Joe could see me now, he’d call me unprofessional. Pink would say my actions are that of a first-year fuckin thief. And Blonde…well, actually Blonde would probably be impressed, but that’s besides the point. Oh shit, right, you probably have no idea who these people are. I must sound like I’m rattling off the colors in the fuckin rainbow right now. As if I didn’t seem like a faggot enough. Those are names of guys I used to know. Not real name’s mind you (besides Joe and Eddie that is), but aliases. I used to be Mr. Brown…that was until I met Freddy and then all pretense went out the fuckin window. Fuckin Freddy. If Mr. White hadn’t suggested some stripper bar down on Madison, I wouldn’t be in this fuckin mess right now…  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“So where is this place?” Mr. Blue questioned as we started walking down the street, sunglasses on even though it was nearing evening, so I decided to take mine off. I wasn’t trying to be some fuckin Corey Hart knock-off.

“It’s right down here, we just make a left, it’ll be the first building there. You can’t miss it.” White said as we kept walking in our little dog pack. And he was right, you couldn’t miss the place. The large, glittery, neon sign kept a steady glow of the word “Teasers” shining throughout the quickly approaching dark of night.  
“You ever been in this place White?” Pink asked, taking off his shades as well to get a good look at the sign.

“No, just heard about it from a friend. Said it’s got a good atmosphere, good for a quiet chat. Looks inconspicuous enough, we can do business there.”

“Fuck it, sounds good to me” I start walking forward across the empty crosswalk and up to the large gold doors before looking back to my friends “You in or are you out guys?”

I laugh as I push the doors open, taking in the scene. A purple glow of light washes over the place as the smell and mist of smoke wafts through the air. The floors are black, cold concrete, dusted with a fine layer of ash, spilled drinks and god knows what else that I don’t even wanna think about right now. Don’t get me wrong, the club wasn’t trashy or nothin, you could just tell that it wasn’t exactly the highest-class joint. Small stage, decently sized bar, no bouncer, light crowd. If we really wanted to, we could rob this place easy, not that there is much of anything to steal.

After I made my way to one of the tables near the middle of the room, the largest one I could find with several chairs strewn about, all facing different directions (I guess nobody is here to rearrange shit properly), the guys made their way inside and sat beside me.

Talk was cheap and boring for a while as we sat around the table, shooting the shit and ordering drinks, Joe desperately trying to bring the conversation back to business, eventually giving up and instead focusing on the dancer who was there when we walked in. She was a nice lookin girl, brown hair, tan skin, eyes like cats with the way she had done them up in the mirror. I swear, I’ll never understand how girls can get their makeup to look that perfect. You can’t pull a fuckin heist with a girl but she has the precision to draw her face on like that? Fuckin strange I tell ya. Anyway, she does her routine, grinding her ass up and down the pole like she’s trying to scratch a fuckin itch or something and it’s boring. I fade in and out of the conversation, looking over at her every so often to see if the routine has changed because, yeah, she’s hot and has a good body and it’s a shame to see it go to waste on a fuckin boring set of moves. I’m not asking for the choreography from a fuckin Michael Jackson video, but once you’ve seen enough strippers as I have, this whole routine gets fuckin stale pretty fast.

I mentally doze off sometime between when this girl leaves and the next act comes out, because suddenly I’m hearing the guys beside me hollering and gawking. So, I turn my head and what do I see, two girls grinding against the pole and really giving it their all. Not like the last girl who looked like she’d rather be anywhere but there right now, and that includes Guantanamo Bay. No, these girls were grinding it out, shaking everything they had (which was a good amount mind you), and then they were making out. Right there on the edge of the stage, all tongues and pale skin, and I swear one of them looked just like Madonna in her “Papa Don’t Preach” phase.  
Eddie and Blonde looked quite enthused with the whole situation, Joe, White and Blue tried to look indifferent but they couldn’t seem to keep the smirks from creeping up their faces and Pink, well I think Pink looked scandalized, like this was the first time he was thumbing through a fuckin porno mag.

We all tipped em nicely (even Pink shockingly), turning to each other with wicked grins once they made their way off the stage.

“Woah” Eddie practically gasped “I didn’t know it was one of those kinds of clubs, White why didn’t you tell me?”

Eddie shoved White in the arm, giving him a fake dirty look before devolving back into a grinning mess.

“I didn’t know” White held his hands up, a similar smile gracing his face “Swear to god and on my mother’s life.”

“Well that was one hell of a great surprise” Blonde smirked as he downed the last of his Tequila sunrise, I could never understand his interest in fruity drinks “I think Pink creamed his pants from just one look at em!”

Blonde laughed as we all turned our heads to Pink who’s namesakes color was dancing across his cheeks, only barely hidden by his facial hair.

“Shut the fuck up Blonde, I did not…that was just, weird. I’ve never seen girls do that in like, public before, unless they were lesbians which is rare enough on its own.”

“Where have you seen lesbians before Pink?” Eddie questioned, quirking an eyebrow upwards “You been hangin around the Castro District lately?”

Everyone laughed, just making Pink turn a violent shade of red.

“No! I’m just sayin’ that it’s weird man…there’s something up with this place.”

As if on cue the next performer came out onto the stage, and I’ll be damned, I thought it was one of the bartenders or busboys or somethin for a second. He walked out onto the stage, all casual, no decorum or nothin, wearing a suit and tie. He could practically blend in with us for Christ sakes. That was until the music started up, some modern euro-pop trash with a thumping techno beat, and he started taking off his clothes. Needless to say, we were all stunned. We all froze in our tracks like a bunch of prairie dogs that notice a cayote standing just a few feet away from their homes. I sat there, probably looking the most stunned of them all, my mouth hanging open dumbly as I eyed the man up and down as he began unbuttoning his shirt. He had slicked back hair, a loose strand coming down and meeting the space right between his hazel eyes, and a wicked grin as he started making his way off the stage. That sent us all reeling back into our chairs. We weren’t scared or nothin at first when he was on the stage, but now, this guy was in our space, creeping ever closer to our table. It’s not like we were the only table there, there were other people scattered across the club, drinking, talking, having a smoke. But no, of course it’s us straight guys, who I’m just then realizing don’t exactly belong there, that’s who he goes to.  
And it’s then I realize he isn’t just going towards our table; he’s going towards me. Slinking his way up the middle of the isle and to my seat, his shirt now on the floor in a pile beside a jacket and a tie, and I’m sweating bullets.

The cayote has found its prey.

He leans in close and sits right on top of me, legs adjacent to mine, straddling me and leaning in to whisper into my ear

“How’s it goin’ big boy?”

It’s a line. A line as old as time from some fuckin pulp novella or shitty porno you’d see in a seedy cinema after dark, but it had me hard in an instant and that was the first time somethin without a set of tits and a dripping cunt got me off.

I don’t respond but I sit there, awkwardly trying to adjust myself so that he doesn’t notice I’ve got a new hard-on pressed right against him, not one left over from the lesbian love affair but a new one, from him. I don’t know why I’m trying to hide it from him specifically, it’s not like he’s gonna stand up and exclaim ‘Ha, got ya! We got one, boys. I knew he was a faggot!’, like he’s in on a joke with the others that I haven’t been told about yet.

But I don’t realize that in that moment of trying to move and adjust myself so that I don’t look suspicious, I end up looking like I’m dry humping the damn guy! And everyone’s sitting there and I’m trying not to look at em, cause not only am I shocked, I’m embarrassed, angry and horny on top of it all. Like, what is this guy’s fuckin deal? I get it, he’s a stripper, okay. And maybe it’s in his routine that every night he has to choose someone from the crowd and make em feel all special, but why me? I’m not traditionally handsome like Blonde or some shit (not that I’ve ever been attracted to him, even if I was into guys, I wouldn’t touch that psycho with a ten foot dick), so why me? There’s no way he’d specifically pick me cause he thought I was hot or somethin, not with my big nose and awkward frame. Then I start thinking of where I am in relation to the other tables and chairs and I decide that it’s that. I’m just convenient. Pink’s seated at an awkward angle and Blonde’s too far in the back and maybe Blue isn’t his type. That’s gotta be it.

Before I know it, the song has ended and the man in what can barely be considered a suit leaves my lap with a small kiss to my left ear. We all stare as he winks at me and walks off, a few people in the small crowd wooing at him and throwing money his way.

“Well what the fuck was that?” Blue is the first to break the tension as I awkwardly cross my legs, hoping the guys wouldn’t notice.

“White, did you know this place was a faggot club?” Joe pretty much sneers, looking as angry as I felt for a second there back when Mr. Long-Legs was grinding into my pelvis like I was the last good lay on earth.

“I had no idea sir” White admits, just as gob smacked as the rest of us.

“Whatever, let’s get out of here” Joe responds, grumbling as he picks up his jacket and we all make our way to our feet, and I really hope they don’t notice it (but out this point how couldn’t they) as I hold my jacket in front of my junk while making our way out of the club.

“Well, I guess that explains the girls getting it on” Eddie rolls his eyes as we walk out into the chill night air, blowing in his hands to get them warm “That place must cater to all walks of life.”

“At least you looked like you were enjoying yourself there Brown” Blonde smirks and has the whole crew turned against me, laughing at me in mere seconds.  
“Fuck you guys, I was not. I was just too freaked out to think properly.”

“Yeah? Is that why you kept moving your hips up when he was giving you a lap dance?” Pink states, probably happy the faggot talk has moved off him for now, lucky bastard.

“Fuckin hell I was trying to move him off me god damn it. Trust me, I was far from enjoying it.” I lie through my teeth as I suddenly look to my left when I see movement outside of the club. It’s the guy from before, and I watch as he makes his way out of a side door and turns a corner while lighting up a cigarette.

“Yeah, sure you were bud” Blonde smirks as he and the other guys laugh.

“Fuck this, I’m not taking this shit from you people” I turn and start walking in the direction of that door as Joe calls after me.

“Where do you think you’re goin?”

“I’m goin to take a piss, fuck off without me. You guys are the ones that suck tonight, not me.”

Eddie shakes his head as he starts chatting with the guys again as they keep walking back down the street and to the lot where we stashed our cars. I, on the other hand, make that same turn the mystery man did a minute ago down an alleyway in front of a few beat up looking dumpsters.

He’s turned away from me, smoking a cigarette, the little light creating an orange glow around his face which I can barely make out from his position. I get up closer, and he doesn’t even seem to notice me as I tap his shoulder.

“Hey” I look at him, confused and bewildered as he takes off a pair of headphones I didn’t realize he’d been wearing. Something blares out of them, some song that I’d heard once before recently, but I can't quite put my finger on it as he turns to me, cigarette dangling out of the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, hey” he smirks, changing his posture and leaning up against the brick wall in a white wife beater and an old leather jacket, pants still the same from earlier. The same ones he wore when he rutted up against me in front of all of my colleagues.

“Oh hey? That’s what you say to someone after you humiliate them in front of all their friends? Make them look like a total faggot sex pervert? They might never ask me out again because of what you did!”

“I’m sorry to hear that but…it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself” he takes out the cigarette and leans in close, blowing smoke all around us and he smells like musk and leather “if the little friend in your pants was any indication that is.”

I flush a hot crimson and my mouth goes dry as every insult in the book leaves my brain. He smirks, looking so self-satisfied as he wraps those perfect lips back around the back end of his cigarette. Fuck, perfect? Did I just think that?

“Look…” I manage to get out without squeaking like a pre-pubescent kid who just got caught doing something bad in the schoolyard “…I just came out here cause I saw you and I had to ask, why me?”

“What do you mean?” he laughs, incredulously, as if I’m asking him why two plus two is four.

“I mean, why’d you pick me? You could have laid your ass on any guy there and you chose me. Why?”

“Cause you’re hot, duh.”

And that is not the answer I was looking for, certainly not the answer I was expecting. Me? hot? In what universe?

“Are you blind?”

“No” he sniggers, expounding on the statement “You’re a total dream. Great eyes, good figure, devilishly good hair and god, don’t even get me started on that little soul patch of yours, it drove me wild as soon as I saw it.”

He practically squeals like a schoolgirl as I stand there, feeling my face heat up even more and that problem from earlier start to rise in my pants again. Not only am I turned on but I start feelin somethin, in my chest, which at first I think is heartburn coming from one too many trips to the taco place with Blonde and White and then I realize it’s butterflies. Fucking butterflies. Now who’s the fuckin schoolgirl? God, I hate that it’s me but fuck does it feel so good.

“Me?” I am absolutely squeaking now, sounding like a rusty door hinge as this man uses every part of myself I don’t like and turns it around on me to make me sound like a total dream-guy.

“Yeah, you, big boy” he blows out rings of smoke around my face and I try not to cough as the name rings throughout my ears once more, going straight to my dick.

“So, if you aren’t a queer, tell me, what are you doing out here with me in the middle of a dark alley, with nobody around to see us?” he gives me a look of mocking innocence as he stamps out his cigarette on the concrete.

“Cause I, I was just curious alright?” I say and boy, is it the wrong thing to say.

“Curious?” his eyes light up “Like bi-curious, curious?”

“N-No that’s not what I meant”

“Then tell me what you did mean, big boy”

And I honest to god whimper, out loud like a dog in heat. And he’s smiling, still satisfied with himself and oh god, I looked down, why did I look down? He’s got a boner, and as soon as I look I feel mine twitch in my pants.

“What’s your name?” I feel myself say, brain out the fucking window now, only able to work with my other head apparently, not realizing what a majorly bad idea this is.  
“Freddy” he bats his lashes “Freddy Newandyke, and yourself?”

“Doug” I say, not exactly ready to give my last name to a fuckin stranger. Either this guy trusts me for some reason I’m unaware of or he’s the biggest fuckin idiot I’ve ever seen.

“Nice to meet you Doug” he leans in a bit closer and I can still smell the smoke on him “Now is there anything else you wanted from me or did you wanna get back to your little group?”

“N-No, they’re probably long gone by now actually” I sputter, scratching the back of my neck nervously, realizing just how deep I’ve gotten in a matter of seconds “Fuck, they probably are, and they’re not waiting on my sorry ass.”

“Awh, I’m sorry to hear that” he pouts, giving me fake sympathy or real sympathy I can’t tell as he shifts his weight from one foot to another “Got anywhere else to go tonight?”

“Me?”

“Yeah you. I was wondering if you wanted to do something…” he leans into my ear and whispers “did I mention my nickname is something?”

I feel the last remaining drops of blood go right to my crotch and I whine again as he moves away, the feeling of heat and lust cooling over me like hell freezing over.

“You wanna do that? With me?”

I say, still shocked anyone would wanna do that with me, even more so a guy.

“Uh huh” he clicks his tongue and suddenly I wanna know what that tongue feels like in several places below my belt.

“I’m staying in a motel a couple of blocks down if you wanna go there.”

“Sounds good” he turns on his heels and starts walking, I guess expecting me to follow “My neighbors are sick of hearing me at my place anyway. Threatened to call the cops on me last time.”

Shit, I really don’t know what I’m getting into, do I? Is he a fuckin pro? Thank god I carry condoms on me when I go out of town, not like I get a lot anyways but hey, I guess they came in handy this time. God, even a handy sounds good right now I’m so turned on.

“Oops” he stops dead in his tracks, turning to me with a playful grin “If we’re going to your place, I guess you should lead the way, eh? Besides, I like a guy who can lead.”

He growls, giving me a hungry look as I try not to whimper this time, making my way ahead of him and in the direction of my motel.

This is going to be one hell of a night.


End file.
